We Grow It, We Brew It, We Drink It

Kiveton Miners Welfare (Step 7) 1 v Maltby Main (Step 5) 1

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Saturday 1 July 2023

Lancashire 274 all out

v Surrey 360 all out

Lancashire 113 for 4

County Championship Division One

Close on (a gratuitous) Day Two

Monday 26 June 2023

Played at The Oval

In what I can only describe as a truly remarkable Carrier Bag Firm Beer week, we have been brewing the fucker, as well as drinking it. Indeed, it gets wilder. "We" also grew the fucking ingredients for the beer!!! ish.

The Brew Day was at the wonderful Grizzly Grains in Sheffield S2. And, it was organised by The Sheffield Wheat Experiment. Which has over two hundred people growing patches of Heritage Wheat in gardens, allotments & fields. One of those allotments is lovingly tended by a Carrier Bag Firm footsoldier. Currently, that allotment is delivering Broad Beans, which I myself am crafting into an award winning Decke Bunne. Later in the year, onions and potatoes will be harvested. Those will feature front & centre in my deeeelish Vegetable Biryani.

But, a slab of the allotment is also given over to wheat as part of The Sheffield Wheat Experiment.

Now, full disclosure, the wheat in that recent photo has not yet been harvested. So, strictly speaking, it was not pukka CBF wheat used in the Brew Day at Grizzly Grains. But, we did Brew with Wheat from The Experiment. So, you'll understand why I'm fucking claiming it.

Here's the paperwork;

It is my understanding that the Hops which Sam (The Brewer) pulled out of the store cupboard were more bitter than the recipe called for and had to be dialed down a bit in the brew. And coriander was substituted by three camomile teabags. Aside - I was a bit stunned by that - surely just three teabags would have no impact in a kettle full of beer.

When we arrived in the morning, I had no confirmation of what we'd be brewing. But. You know. Wheat. Hoping for a wheat beer aren't we? Hopfenweisse? Hefeweissen? That ball park? And, I was delighted to hear it'd be a Belgian Wit - perfect. But, immediately trepidatious. What if the Brewer wants to fuck about with it? Put all sorts of nonsense in. We're the Carrier Bag Firm, this is The Sheffield Wheat Experiment, play it straight. So, I was mildly relieved to hear of Orange Peel and just three camomile teabags.

Here's the unmalted Sheffield Wheat Ready to go into the Mash.

That was joined by Lager Malt and Rolled Oats. And by Rice Husks. Rice Husks? Yes, Rice Husks. Having quizzed Sam extensively on why the fuck, Rice Husks? I can only paraphrase;

"So the used, spent Grains don't set like fucking concrete."

That porridge was stirred into straight out the tap Sheffield Water at 76°. And then the magic was allowed to happen at 60°.

Once the hot liquor has been inundated with the malt sugars in the Mash Tun, it is drained off and sparged (washed through) as Wort. Mate, I am down with ALL the terminology. Here's the Wort in the Kettle.

And here's, what I will generically call, all the shit that is left. Including, obvs, the Sheffield Wheat.

The Wort has to be brought to the boil. When it's bubbling away, the Hops go in. The recipe called for Hellertau Hersbrucker. When quizzed as to the supply chain for such an exotic product, Sam explained;

"I buy them from a warehouse in Attercliffe."

Sheffield. Right there. Ladies & Gentlemen.

Now. I'm a HopHead. Hopped Beers are my thang. I dug my heels in. I minced. I stropped. I don't care about anyone else's feelings. I don't care who's grown the fucking wheat. I'm putting the Hops in. End. Of.

Long Boil. More Hops. Orange Peel. Teabags (FFS). Once we're all cooled down, it's time for the yeast. The yeast, as well as adding it's own flavour to the beer, will turn all that sugar squeezed out of The Sheffield Wheat Experiment into alcohol. Some fucking wizardry there. So. What does Sam pull out of the cupboard? Some strange potion? Some undefined magic dust. No. Sachets labelled;

"Mangrove Jack's M21 Belgian Wit Yeast."

Presumably, they'd run out of Aldi Own Brand.

All piss taking aside. What a great day. Thanks to The Sheffield Wheat Experiment, the heroes who grew the Wheat, and Sam at Grizzly Grains. We headed off into the Sheffield afternoon. With our Belgian Wit beginning to ferment. One day, and one day soon, that'll end up (I understand) in bottles. And the Carrier Bag Firm will be knocking Civilians out of the way to taste it. Stay Tuned.

You will not be surprised to learn that everything at Grizzly Grains had to be fastidiously clean & sterilised. So, here we are at Kiveton Miners Welfare for the first pre season friendly. Where. As you might fucking guess, no one has been anywhere near the seats or surrounds with anything remotely resembling a bucket of soapy water and a sponge. Let alone a fucking spanner to bolt the seats back together again. Just grim. And, I'm not singling out the Kivo volunteers. It's like that at a lot of clubs.

But, that doesn't put too much of a dampener on my Ground Tick 430.

Anyway. Good game. No Linos. I've no idea whether they've put out full strength or experimental teams. But, it was committed. And clean. Maltby finished 13 of 20 in last season's Northern Counties East Premier Division (Step 5). And Kiveton Miners Welfare finished 12 of 15 in the Central Midlands League Premier Division North - call that Step 7.

Kivo held their own. They were always in it. Both sides created chances. End to end stuff for most of the 90. A few defensive lapses in midfield meant it was a game of turnovers. But, those lead to some committed recovery chases. And, some stand tall, make yourself big goalkeeping on the edge of the box.

One defensive slip lead to the Maltby opener on 27. Calmly rolled home.

As the game progressed, Kiveton were getting the ball into the box. But, they lacked support in there, not many runs, and just missing a bit of sharpness.

Another Maltby slip on 62, and the Kiveton lad took it into the box. He got it a bit stuck between his feet and the keeper did well to block it. But his Kiveton teammate rolled the rebound home for one each.

There was still time for Kiveton to rattle a post hard on 78. Before honours even.

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