The Baron Of Brewtown
England 315 for 3
v New Zealand
Friday 24 February 2023
Played at Basin Reserve, Wellington
New Zealand Beer Ticks 219
We set off for Baylands Taproom in Petone. We had the Snapper cards loaded with the fares. But, slowly slowly we became more aware of the Upper Hutt beer possibilities. End of the train line as well. Fuck it. We'll stay on and take our chances.
Well. We were not prepared for what greeted us. I can only call it Brewtown!!! I'll call it that, because that is what "they've" decided to call it themselves. The oral history as dictated to me is that the "Baron Of Upper Hutt" had bought the defunct Dunlop Factory site. A few breweries were already in the area. The Baron and the Town Council came up with a plan for a Brewery & Beer Theme Park. A lot of development still going on. But think enormous car parks. Oktoberfest style semi permanent beer marquees. Pop up bars a-plenty. Stages for the live interference of the drinking experience. Kids playgrounds. The fucking lot. Thank Christ we didn't go up there on a weekend. So, most of that was closed.
Meaning we could hit the pukka Taprooms on the complex.
Te Aro Brewing Co
One of those places I didn't warm to.
"Have you got a reservation?"
"No, it's fucking Thursday afts & there's no one else in the gaff"
The concept of - we've come in for a few drinks - seemed alien to them.
"Have you chosen yet from the menu?"
"No, sorry, give us two and a quarter hours"
AnyRoadUp
Te Aro Brewing Co, Sneaky Little IPA on Keg at 2.5%
Te Aro Brewing Co, Pale Ale on Keg at 5.2%
Boneface Brewing Co
Better. The Ramones on the sounds. More of a beards, hair & tats place.
"Find a table that suits you, order at the bar."
Boneface, The Unit, IPA on Keg at 6%.
Panhead Custom Ales
We approached with some trepidation. Panhead are a Craft-A-Like subsidiary of Evil Empire Lion Brewing. And, this gaff is in self-appointed Brewtown. But. You know. We're the Carrier Bag Firm.
"You have to drink them all."
No fear needed. Superb gaff. They have their core range natch. They have Normal Lager natch. But, of course, how silly of me not to guess, they have one bright tank and three fermentation vessels right there in the bar. They are Small Batch Natch.
Oooohhhh. Oooohhhh. Oooohhhh. Look who's here Phil. With the overalls and the wellys. It's him. The fucking brewer. After mucho smileyo and catching of his eye and knowing nods from the unknowing (that's me, that is). He minces over…
"Would you like to try some of the beers I'm currently brewing?"
He. He. He.
The one still on the drawing board was;
Panhead Custom Ales, Batch 241, Irish Red, at abv still to be determined.
Being brewed for St Patrick's Day as a Diageo Buster. Fermentation only just starting. Lovely malt is all at the mo'. Going biscuit and not overpowering.
The one furthest along was;
Panhead Custom Ales, Batch 239, Rare Beer, no I don't know the abv, it's still brewing fella.
I'd seen reference to Rare Beer in Fortune Favours Brewery the day before. Thought it sounded a bit much if I'm honest. Why describe it as Rare? Obvs, I'd missed the point. Again. Turns out it's a fund raising beer festival for Rare Disorders NZ, an umbrella support network for the 6% of NZers who suffer from a Rare Disease. (We're approaching International Rare Disease Day on 28 February). Great cause. One to get behind.
I've written before in my Blog about my Type II Diabetes. But, it also happens that I suffer from a rare skin condition (diagnosed in the mid 1980s). People suffering from that/my condition benefit from the support of Rare Disorders NZ.
That Rare Beer being fermented is in support of people like me. Bang fucking on.
The Brewer has put 17 different ingredients in. He's claiming 16 have a link to GOLD. El Dorado hops, Golding hops, etcetera.
At this stage of brewing, I mainly got drying in the mouth, towards white wine, not grass. Belgian Yeast he says.
And then;
Panhead Custom Ales, Batch 240, IPA
He was happy to explain. If this one doesn't work out, they'll happily pour it away. He was tasting it often and adding stuff all the time. Because, here we go, this was a beer without hops. Hopless for the Hopeless. In the finish I got a lot of Old Skool Schweppes full on, deffo not slimline, Tonic.
"That'll be the quinine."
In some mouthfuls, I fancied ginger.
"That'll be the ginseng."
Alright fella. Back yourself up. I get it. I get it. You're pushing a boundary.
"But, why prototype call it IPA?"
"Imposter Pale Ale"
FFS. Good luck. (Thoroughly enjoyable beer though at this stage of the development).
So. If we're buying into BazBall, we should criticise (deffo small c) Crawley, Pope and Duckett. Because they were out to placid, not aggressive, shots. Just footplatend and hanging it out there. At 21 for 3 off 6.4 overs, England were on the floor.
And yet. Later in the day. As we were enjoying the game in the Basin Reserve Long Room. The Baggers were demanding beers to celebrate Brook's ton in situ. Strangely, two of the three keg beers had already gone off. It's Boundary Road Brewery (Asahi Breweries Craft-A-Like) again as the in ground offering.
Boundary Road Brewery, Haze Of Our Lives, Hazy Pale from a Tin at 5%
A faintly ridiculous, but very welcome, fightback. I'm hearing Brook has gone through 800 Test Runs in 803 balls. They're flying Lara in, in case Harry goes through his record tomorrow. 300 partnership a whack or two away. Baggers be like - get the beers in when H gets 200.
The CBF are, unfortunately, getting carried away by all this.
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