Mark The Four Footer

North Gawber Colliery 1 v Wombwell Town 1

Sheffield & Hallamshire County Senior League, Premier

(Step 7)

Wednesday 12 April 2023

Hallam 1 v Emley AFC 0

Northern Counties East League, Premier

(Step 5)

Tuesday 11 April 2023

No Beer Days

The North Gawber Colliery ground out at Woolley Colliery Road is the 424th ground I have watched football on. Fuck knows how they play cricket on the adjoining. Uneven doesn't cover it. The changing rooms are over the cricket pitch. One simple covered stand. No floodlights. For the majority of the season, these teams have to kick off on Saturdays. Early enough to get it finished in daylight. But, the clocks have changed. Did you hear? So, six o'clockers midweek are doable. The Tickers know that. They know…

I have nothing but admiration for lads at this level. Turning out after work. And there was a lot of quality on display. And a bad injury. Nothing but admiration. What? What's that you're asking? Yes of course I'm still going to take the piss.

Lasses and Lads. We have a timeline for this 18:00hrs kick off.

18:07 - the Wombwell Town goalkeeper finally sprints over from the changing block to join his teammates and start his warm up.

18:07 - the North Gawber groundsman finally finishes marking out the pitch. In his haste, he painted a line from the edge of the penalty area D to the Penalty Spot.

18:11 - the Wombwell Town team cross the cricket field to RETURN to the changing block and get their proper kit on.

18:15 - the Wombwell Town team re-emerge from the block in pristine kits and head for the football field.

18:18 - Kick. Off.

19:03 - Half Time Nil Nil

19:09 - Kick. Off.

19:19 - At a throw in, the Wombwell fan sat next to me in the Donald Senior Memorial Stand offers advice to his number 3 on who to mark. Number 3 is actually preoccupied marking someone else. Because, as he explains (read in a Barnsley accent), - "he's a bigger problem, not this four footer…"

19:24 - A Gawber lad goes down in what I can only describe as agony. Coats are put over him, as everyone does their best. Remember the Junior Doctors are on Strike. Maybe he's not thinking this at the precise moment. But, solidarity with the Junior Doctors. Eventually, the injured lad is carried by six others, with his injured leg held as straight as possible, across that un fucking even cricket field. I mean - stretchers have been invented!!! Nothing but admiration for these lads.

19:41 - One Nil North Gawber Colliery

20:02 - Dying seconds of a long additional time due to that bad injury. The Wombwell Town keeper (remember him, arrived late, he's one of the (albeit admirable) reasons we're still playing in the fucking dark) is up for a corner. It's cleared. The keeper gets on the second ball. Puts in a pin perfect cross. Say again, the keeper puts in a pin perfect cross. And, it's knocked home for the equaliser.

20:02 - Scenes

20:04 - with 54mins 39secs on the game clock - Full Time One One - it's been dark for some time. I have nothing but admiration for the lads I can still see through my groundhopper approved infrared glasses.

Atrocious conditions at Hallam the night before. The pitch actually held up quite well. But the torrential rain made it difficult for both sides. Emley needed at least a point to keep their play off hopes alive. Hugo saved a penalty on 22. Emley had a man sent off on 68. And Nico scored the winner on 75.

520 there to see it. Which is, frankly, fucking ridiculous. Hallam finish sixth. Season Tickets on sale Thursday 13 April. GET INVOLVED.

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