I Speak German Silence

Germany 1 v England 1

UEFA Nations League Group A3

Tuesday 7 June 2022

Played at Allianz Arena, Munich

"Bayern Munich's" sponsor named Allianz Arena is the 396th different ground I've watched football on. And, while we're at it. That's the 148th England away match I've attended.

Maybe it's because I arrived in Munich via, and after a wonderful time in, the Czech Republic, but I can't say I enjoyed the initial Munich Beer Tourist experience much. It was a Bank Holiday Monday weekend in Germany. England in town. And a Rolling Stones concert. (Did you know they've subtly redesigned & changed their lips & tongue sticky outy logo? So, you "have" to buy the latest merchandise to keep up with the kool kids.)

On the busy days, Munich drinking all felt a bit - you must sit here, you can't sit there, here's a beer, it's what you're drinking, oh don't forget the tip.

I suppose England, and London in particular, is beginning to go this way. But, you seemed to "need" a reservation to get into most of the Big Six Munchen Brewery gaffs. I think that's the exact opposite of the original intention. Big fucking cavernous beer hall. Walk in, find a bench, don't matter if it's with some other drinkers, sit down, smile, and get at it. No, I don't have a fucking reservation.

Worst experience was deffo Augustiner Keller. When we first arrived (on the cusp of rain I might add) I asked for the beer hall. Told I must find my own seat way out in the bier garten. Upon listening to my silence, I was offered an outside table from which I could see the door to "the inside". Upon further silence, I was offered a seat just inside, from which I could see the outside seat I'd silently refused. I double checked they were serving the Edelstoff from the wooden barrels, ordered the requisite amount, and watched him pour them from the conventional kegs. Within minutes of taking the top off that one, new arrivals at the front desk were now only being offered indoor seats in the beer hall. Which I'd been refused in the last 15. Oh. And don't forget to tip. FFS.

I mean, it's my fault, I'm such a sucker for the ritual and pomp of the serving of the beer. But, finally, we got there.

Hacker-Pschorr, Edelhell, Helles from the barrel at 5.5%. (In Der Pschorr). I was sent on a reccy, asked "the guy" whether it was reservations only or could we come in if I went and fetched 'em. Affirmative. Ten minutes later I'd rounded up & we were at the desk again. This time confronted by "the lady". I was just about to explain when "the guy" shouted from his drinking table (the equivalent of);

"They're alright, I've already squared it, let 'em in."

His drinking table, of course, features later in the "drinking ritual". The Edelhell barrel is up on the front of the bar on a racked incline. They're not cask conditioned, just cold, bright beer. So, apart from the fizz, they don't need to settle. When one barrel empties, here we go.

New barrel rolled along the floor. Old barrel ceremoniously carried away. Tap hit home in the new barrel through a "bung affair" using a big, round headed, wooden mallet. Let air in/air out gizmo also malleted into second "bung affair". Beer poured. Inevitably mainly froth. Few more poured until not too much froth. Frothy beers delivered to mein host's table (remember him, "the guy") for his quality assurance, and any other employees in near vicinity. The signal goes up…

"Allies Gut"

The bell is rung & we're back in the game. It's all psychosomatic. But, it just all tastes much smoother with a ritual.

All told, I pushed my German Beer Ticks up to 64.

Readers of older Blogs, much older Blogs, will know how excited I've got about the UEFA Nations League. It is a superb format. Bringing a league table feel to supplement the three laps around a random country, 800 games to send four teams home, then every knockout game goes to extra time and penalties tournaments. Or EUROs & World Cups as we know them. Obviously, it's early days. And, the Nations League has not caught the imagination of other fans as I'd expected/hoped.

I always quote roughly the same stat. Since I started going to England away games in 1982, England have played San Marino away in (laughably) competitive games FOUR time. And Germany (in competitive games in Germany) TWICE. Both in Munich. If you count this one in the Nations League. Alright. I know, we've played Germany in Final Tournaments as well. But just TWICE in competitive games in Germany itself. That's just ridiculous. The Nations League redresses that balance a bit.

But, I can't ignore what's happening before my eyes. (Partly) because of Covid. (Partly) because of a November World Cup. We've ended up with four June games. At the end of a long hard season for the players. With a World Cup just five months away. There's going to be kids rested. There's gonna be kids tried. And, there's gonna be kids running on empty. Not perfect.

The right format. At the wrong time. Even I realise that.

At one stage, during the game, I glanced down the seats to my right. Maybe 60 minutes. One of my fellow fans was wearing an England shirt with - MOUNT - on the back. Oh yeah, I thought, he's playing isn't he. So many England players either anonymous or not at it. That changed a bit (?a lot?) when Grealish came on. And, on chances, England had enough to win it. But, I suspect a - two tired teams draw - was the right result.

Ring the bell. Blow the whistle. Either'll work.

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