Fastest Route To No Common Sense
England 657 all out (101 Overs)
v Pakistan 579 all out (155.3 Overs)
England 264 for 7 declared (35.5 Overs)
Pakistan 80 for 2 (20 Overs)
Close on Day 4
Sunday 4 December 2022
Played at Rawalpindi
The Beer Hunting
We had an evening out at one of the High End Hotels in Islamabad. If you go to the door with the sign above saying E.A.M. Training & Development, there is a small table manned by two hotel staff. I can't show you a photo of that sign. Because I fear that would have excluded me from the particular Training & Development event I had in mind. Those two staff members will relieve you of 2k Roops (say just over seven quid). They will give you a token and stamp the back of your hand and open the door for you.
As you walk down the stairs, you will be confronted by the following information re your Training & Development event;
To give you an idea of "what's going down", I very deliberately checked for CCTV Cameras before taking that photo. Again, this was one Training & Development event I did not want to miss. When you present your token at the bar, it is redeemed for your drink. You cannot choose your drink. You cannot indulge in your alcohol delivery system of choice. You are given a Vodka & Red Bull. Maybe you can choose to have it without ice. Don't know. Didn't ask. Got ice. That's it. Your 2k Roops cover charge has to be exchanged for a Vodka & Red Bull. No substitutions as our American Cousins would say. I'm going to ask a very simple question;
"How the fuck did they come up with that?"
That planning meeting must have been worth the admission money.
I did get two impressions. One - England Cricket fans were trying EVERY trick in the book to either avoid the cover charge all together, or exchange their token for a non-Vodka non-Red Bull booze alternative. Two - the Pakistani staff had fucking seen it all before and were having none of it.
"I'm not going to have a drink, I just want to have a look around and decide whether it's for me"
"Two thousand Sir"
"If I pay you and have a look around and it's not for me, can you refund me my two thousand?"
"Two thousand, no refund Sir"
"But, it's not fair, if I don't like the place, I'll be out of pocket by two thousand, I just want a look around."
"Look around is no problem Sir. I'll come with you…"
"Here's two thousand, stamp me hand"
They're not fucking playing at it.
The Beer
Murree Brewery, Strong Special Brew from a Tin at 8%
So, that's my fifth Pakistani Beer Tick. I'm firmly believing this eight percenter is brewed for what it does, rather than what it is. Fastest route to no common sense. There is an abv burn. That dominates. It all tugs at the throat a bit and it's difficult to know what else is occurring. All told - not too bad.
Baz Ball vs Stokes Sums
There's a view. That we're all too influenced by ex-cricketer, often ex-Test Captain, pundits. Our back of the scorecard scribblings on possible declarations & run chases are all received wisdom. From a regressive, conservative, risk averse, you'll get slaughtered in the press, lost in time, perspective.
The way Ben Stokes has played the game, piled up the stats, won the single handeds gives him some immunity. You can't marvel at that record tumbling first day. And also moan about declaring too early.
Under the old narrative, if Pakistan win this, Stokes gets slaughtered for waving them in too soon. Under the new narrative, if Pakistan win this, fair fucks to them, that's still a right old reach to pull that one in.
I quite like the new narrative. Score a shed load quickly. Get the game moving. Forget the chase. Get them in with time to get them out again.
How long have we got replaces how many can they get.
I think the simplest thing to say is - surely no one was surprised when Stokes pulled them in at Tea on Day Four. You might not agree with it, but you're not surprised by it surely.
The plan got delivered a few punches to the mouth. Duckett went second ball, the first he faced, slip catching practice trying to guide it down. Brook mounted yet another poor attempt at Gilbert Jessop's record. Last out before the declaration with timber akimbo to Naseem Shah. 87 off 65 with two 6s.
And, Pakistani wickets fell. I am reliably informed that at 3:51pm, with Pakistan 25 for 2 off 5.2 Overs;
"A hush erupted around the stadium"
The Hypochondria
My name is Phil, I'm a Type II Diabetic.
For those who haven't caught this particular train yet, I'm finding it very helpful and cathartic to mention things about my health on the Blog. It helps me be honest about maintaining (or otherwise) some discipline.
What I really want to do is cut out superfluous, sugary, binge snacking on choccies, biccies, sweeties & cakes.
In a way, that's rather easy out here in Pakistan. Although, my base diet is made up of buffets. And, the rice, potatoes & lentils will load my carbs. Sugary drinks are a problem as well.
Additionally, we're here to Tick Pakistani Beers
One day this week my 7 day average units of alcohol per week pinged as high as SIXTEEN. Although, as I write, it has settled back to ELEVEN.
And, my 30 day average units of alcohol is EIGHT per week.
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