Brown Beer And Brown Hats

Surrey 292 for 6

v Yorkshire

County Championship Division 1

Close on Day One

Tuesday 20 Sep 2022

Played at The Oval

I've got a Blog. It's a Diary. I can look up when I've done shit. I'm not blaming the schedule (winks - I am blaming the schedule). But, the last day of Championship Cricket I was at - 20 May. And, here we are 20 September.

I write as a self-parodying member of a thing I call the Carrier Bag Firm. The nerds. The geeks. The anoraks. Every club has 'em. Every sport has 'em. Cricket has more than most!!!

Today, we sat with the Peter May Boys. A group of "keen" Surrey fans who sit square on at The Oval in the Peter May Enclosure. One of my Sheffield United mates is a Surrey Member, sits with the PMB & even arranged me a free match ticket off one of them. Salute.

They're noisy fuckers. Banter is their Bandwidth. So, gentle ribbing when we arrived. I didn't want to crowd them. So I sat a few seats away. Eventually. Ice Breaker with my nearest neighbour.

"Where do you live mate?"

Knowing how the convo unfolded, part of me wishes I'd never asked. But, at least I can now try and explain "Cricket Weirdness" to you.

Fella lived in FALMOUTH. Also got a place in Kingston upon Thames, out South West from the Oval.

"How come you live in Falmouth mate?"

"I'm the Town Crier there…."

(Shows me photo for full effect)

His regalia is green. But, if a new Mayor of Falmouth chooses green as their colour, he'll have to change his colour & regalia. Nightmare!!! I did not know that…

"I have to drive between Falmouth & Kingston for games. Because I have to bring my cats with me. It's not a problem as they sleep all the way. All except when I drive past Stonehenge. Without a word from me, they always wake up, stand up & crane their necks for a good look. Then just go back to sleep"

Just his schtick innit that? Story he tells? Trying to suck a Northerner in? Schtick? Or is it…?

At one point, Falmouth Town Crier opened his snap bag. Which contained a wholesale box of 48 Mars Bars. Which he opened and passed around.

Anyway. Welcome to the Peter May Boys.

At this stage, I'm going to introduce Richard Thompson, the new Chair of the England and Wales Cricket Board, into the story. "Poached" from Surrey, where he was Chair. Late in the day, as the Umps were light meter pfaffing, Thompson came up to say Hi to the Peter May Boys. But, also to tell them he would miss them as he moved to his new role.

Are you fucking reading this Patel? Put some shoe leather in. Put a smile on. Get the handshakes shook.

And, while I'm on a roll. I can't give absolute guarantees. But, there is extensive research. The Oval remains the best in-ground beer destination on the County Circuit. Surely?

Basically, let's concentrate on The Long Room. I think the chalkboard has gone. That's an L if I'm honest. Replaced by an impromptu A4. Upon which, some of the brewery and beer deets were sketchy. Sketchy but recoverable.

There's Greene King IPA on a pukka handpull. Five more on. I'm assuming they're Bright Beer, rather than True Cask. All with their cooling sleeves on. And Gravity taps in. One is Industrial Brand Golden Hen. And two are clearly badged specifically for Surrey Cricket and The Oval. I am contractually obligated to point out on behalf of a friend - those beers served in one pound refundable & substantial plastic pots. Not those fucking soppy paper cups as seen at Patel's Palace in LS6.

Pilgrim Brewery (Reigate, Surrey), 175 IPA, via Gravity at 3.9%

Badged (I presume) for Surrey's 175th in 2020. I hope it ain't been sitting there since then. A little bit of honey in the smell. Very pleasant, if a little oversweet at first. Develops it's balance nicely. (Something, something, something weight on front foot … I'm not a Battingologist). Very much in the English IPA style. A great Cricket Beer that one. I felt I could drink it all day. Or, at least until The NightHawk is padded up.

Pilgrim Brewery, Hobbs At The Oval, English Bitter via Gravity at 4%

Badged I assume for Establishment Darling Sir John Berry Hobbs. Brown Hatter Batter. Second highest run scorer ever behind Joshua Tetley. Very much a standard brown English. Bit of Snickers Bar up the hooter. Similarly nutty in the taste.

And, the one that surprised me. I had to zoom in on the pumpclip to find out what it really was. A Collab betwixt Greene King and Salt (Saltaire, Yorkshire). Who. Knew?

Greene King/Salt, Hop Art, American Blonde Dry Hopped Pale Ale (covering all the bases in that description) via Gravity at 4.5%

Idaho 7, Amarillo, Mosaic & Cryo Pop. Those Hops come in very floral. I wouldn't have blind tasted it as dry hopped if I'm honest.

Better deal with The Pontiff, Ollie Pope. Took a lot of the game away from Yorkshire. Ended up, of all things, bowled by Patterson. But, with 136 at better than a run a ball, he'll be feet up. Came in after Burns & Amla had both gone by 53 for 2. A rebuild took it to 136 for 3. Before No Contract Patto took two in an over. Foakes caught behind for 19 and Steel caught in the slips. Leaving Pope & Clark staring at it - 136 for 5.

That was it really for Yorkshire. Pope did go at 278. And the light went not much later. For all I know, the Peter May Boys may still be there.

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