Binned Off To Ofton
Sheffield United U18 1 v West Ham United U18 3
FA Youth Cup Third Round
Wednesday 21 December 2022
Played at Alfreton Town (FFS)
SUFC 2022/23 Game #37
They've even managed to fuck this up. The Youth Cup. That's purpose built for under the lights at The Lane. Give the kids a go on a bigger stage. Pack it (narrator - not packed) with parents and family and CBF. Play at the main stadium was even in the Regs. The competition has been running since 1952. But, as noted, there's nothing they won't fuck up eventually.
So. Not at The Lane for … reasons. Maybe they'll play it at our Academy Second Home at York City. No. It was originally scheduled for our Academy Third Home at Scun fucking thorpe fucking United. But, binned off for the weather. We're now at our Academy Fourth Home and the sometime home of Nottingham Forest Academy - Alfreton Town. It's not even a Ground Tick.
And. It's not just us. Loads of Youth Cup games on the FA list being played at Alternates. I saw a Nottingham Forest fan complaining on Social Media recently that his club had not publicised their Youth Cup game at all in the run up. That had originally been scheduled for Loughborough. But when weather binned that, they were forced to switch it to where it should have fucking been all along - The City Ground.
West Ham are by far the best ranked U18 side in the country. They top the U18 Premier League South. Ten games, ten wins, scored 38, conceded 16. They're 13 points ahead of Fulham already, and Santa doesn't come until next week. Sunderland top PL U18 North with 23 points from 11 games. The Young Blades were P10 W6 D1 coming into this game. Second in the U18 Professional Development League North behind Barnsley on Goal Difference.
"Hello Lads, get your teamsheets did yer?"
That was the friendly greeting from Academy Manager Derek Geary. Lovely. I'm not fucking expecting that from our "New Owner" if I'm honest.
Luke Faxon the last line against the prolific Irons. A pragmatic back five. Levis PissTake Pitan in the middle, still claiming to be eligible for the eighteens despite having a beard for the last four years. Jayden Prunty on his right, and Jack Waldron outside him. Ben Drake left centre back and Mekhi Haughton-Parris wide left.
Sam Aston & King Kurt Havenhand up top. Leaving a fluid midfield of Chaz Staniland, George Dickinson & Owen Hampson. Chasing the game later on, John Oluleye came on up top. Prunty was subbed off. And, we went conventional four at the back.
An enjoyable enough game. We weren't really in it. But, we never looked close to overrun. The ref gave the HammerHeads a load of soft free kicks. But, was very reluctant to get his book out when the straight through him heavy tackles started.
Sam Aston put a free kick over the West Ham wall, leaving the keeper nowhere, on 84. In a chuck the lot in finish, he also fired just wide on 88.
West Ham had gone three up on 82. United were reasonably solid at the back, except when we had the fucking ball ourselves. There was a theme of self-inflicted running through the proceedings. That's how it mapped for the second goal on 65. Our ludicrous short passing ended with matey easily rolling one in at the far post.
We'd actually had our best spell at the start of the second half. Still nils each at that stage. Havenhand had our only real effort at the end of the first. He was fed onto his preferred left foot in the inside left channel. Given the state of the game at that point, he did the right thing getting any sort of shot off. But, it ballooned over. On 46, a good cross from the right, and Kurtis got a lot on the header, but it was deflected wide. The resulting corner was swung in, and was hooked off the line. Then another corner was a training ground work to Staniland, but he scuffed his shot.
That good spell lasted 10 minutes. Before a great curling shot, with his right foot, coming off the left, put West Ham ahead (deservedly at that stage).
All in, we did OK. Pretty even at first. Then we were much more disrupted, we got defensively sloppy as West Ham denied us space all over the Amber Valley. A good spell at the start of the second half. And a siege finish. But, that's it until we decide which town, distant from Sheffield, we're going to frequent next year.
I was far too busy enjoying the Christmas Evening out to make any beer notes. But, it was;
SQUAWK Brewing Company (Ardwick, Manchester), Mallard, Gluten Free Pale Ale on Keg at 4.4%
Missing Link Brewing (West Sussex), Capuchin, New England Hazy IPA on Keg at 6.8%
Grizzly Grains Brewing (Walkley), Get On, Pale on Cask at 4.5%
The Hypochondria
My name is Phil, I'm a Type II Diabetic. My BMI is 24.5. We had Sheffield Christmas in Carrier Bag Firm Towers on Tuesday. Topped off with Christmas Pudding & Custard. Crucially, I have had no indiscriminate choccies, biccies or sweeties since my last Blog. But, the fucking hampers (plural) from my Mother-in-Law have now started arriving.
I average THIRTEEN units of alcohol per week over the past 7 days.
And, my 30 day average units of alcohol is TEN per week.
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